What happen when you hate you work? When you feel that most of the time you are treated like a lesser punching bug? Moreover, what happen when you feel that you are lost? When you do not understand most of the things that you are suppose to work with?
Actually you end up hating the majority of the hours of you day.
To be more specific and in order for you guys to better understand the situation, let me start at the beginning.
Life in general is not easy. We all know that, right? Even more when you choose a university course which does not permit you to develop in many different areas. But guide you to one or two path at most. That being said, I want to clarify that I studies International Relations and don’t want to become a diplomat. I like the idea of working as a political annalist, but not for a determined government. - In our country, they changed constantly and they differ in theirs ideas too much for my taste. - So that’s not even on my mind.
So what happens when you like social studies but you don’t have anything related to work on? And worst, you need to work? ‘Cause you need the money.
You end up working in whatever you can find or wherever you are accepted.
In my case, that is an administrative position at a company which main topic is natural sciences. The opposite of what I like.
Yes, my mom is a doctor, so I am able to understand some of the things that I have to do. But is part of my being as a social sciences student, to ask the why of everything, to find the causes and consequences in any circumstance. Never to just accept things as they are because. So, when I start asking questions and the answers don’t come, or they ones I got are not enough, the problems arise. This situation reaches a point where the people who I am working with, tell me that I am insufferable and to just shut up – sometimes with others words - or simple enough they do not talk to me and make angry faces. This ends creating an uncomfortable work environment.
That is when I ask myself what am I doing here?
Sometimes is even worst. Obviously, everyone has it bad days and sometimes they use another person as a punch bug. But lately, there has been a lot of fighting between my boss and other important members of the company and in the end I am the usual punching bug. If is not because I am too sleepy in the morning and do not talk enough, ‘cause I talk too much. Or my view of the universe is too closed and my opinions and ideas too shorts. Or simply because I am such an innocent in my way of understanding thing that it cannot be possible. They are always telling me “Te falta y te falta mucho” – you still have a long way to go to understand things. But if understanding means to learn how to have some malice in me, how to be sometimes a bad person I don’t want to understand, I want just to be me, no matter what.
Recently I read something about being a punching bug, it said: “be prepared to respond and not react to their behaviors. Remember the KISS method – Keep It Simple Sally. Focus on the one thing that you can do either at the time or later if you choose to, in order to have control over how you want to respond and not react. It’s okay to calmly say to that person something like:” I’ll have to get back to you on that.” Don’t take it personal, it’s their stuff to own. So let them do just that and you learn how to respond and not react. It may not be easy, but it is simple.”
That is the reason why I wrote this, to focus on what I can do and to not pay attention to people who want to change me.